my feeling~

1.00am. sun.

so boring now. i'm like a light bulb, why? because both N and R have bf. haiz. only left me because i don't want to stay inside. not comfortable at all. so i come outside the living room and online. i'm so tired, lonely... blah, blah......... oh well, don't think about that now. let write back about me. hahahahahaha. long time didn't update my blog lo.

i had already finish my course, 2 years course. now am doing my training at rasa sayang. 1 month service, 4 month kitchen. for 1 month, 3 weeks at SMC, 1 week at Pinang Bar. well, was fun but compare both, i like Pinang Bar, why? because get to wear sport shoe, yeah, so siok. hehe. more relax and not much pressure. but after a week, i decided to go kitchen, so my first kitchen is banquet for 2 weeks. all kitchen also 2 weeks la. Banquet... oh well, got 3 department, 1 is western, also known as main kitchen, malay and chinese kitchen. n i'm in chinese kitchen, learn about chinese cuisine. i had learned a lot because my knowledge for chinese cuisine is like 0%. ha. n is not a easy department. if i get to choose, i want to go malay one. learn to cook malay food. hehehehe.

today is saturday. not is already 1.18am, is Sunday already. tomorrow i get another off. so nice because on friday and saturday got function, wedding ceremony, so chinese kitchen is very buzy. then the chef asked me to come from 10am-10pm. 12 hours of work, without pay some more. haiz. next kitchen will be garde manger, that is the cold kitchen. oh well, next week only write about that.

2 couples still inside talking. talking. talking. i feel so (*&^%$#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@$%^&*(. very uncomfortable but anyone of them know? no. just keep on asking "where is dianne??" she is alone, one to call ah bong come teman. WTF. stop mention about bong and wei jiea in front of me. HATE THAT. FUCK UUUUUUUUUU. nowadays, i hate someone soooo much. don;t know why. her attitude is getting worst. sometimes, did she know that she is annoying? very like 'she knows everything punya person. so wat. not your business don;t kepo. BUSYBODY. n when she talks, not relevant

at all. her word never go through her brain to wash first before come out. chehhh.

y?? Y?? y??? my heart's ribbon cannot open. can;t accept anyone. don't know why. i don't have any feeling one, like a stone. so heavy. but when i see 2 person together, i envy them so so so much. when only my chance come?? my heart can only fit 1. The One and Only Person. but to find this, is very hard. so i have to wait lo. GOD,when my chance come?? wat is the feeling like when you love someone?? wat is the feeling that when a person love you n tell u that I LOVE YOU???????? the feeling should be very happy. don't know la. maybe my time not yet come. so i have to wait lo. WAIT ......... is a long word for me. y people can get their but i can't???

i had move out from the jail, now m living at batu feringgi because of shifts. all different shifts. a place named eden seaview condominium. a unit with 3 rooms and is fully furnish. kinda. after staying here, i go out middle of the night often. not often, is like always. eating supper. mamak. how i grow slim?? don't feel like going inside. R's room. ohhh, right, forget to say, i'm now staying with N n R. Now, i just feel like going in my room and lock myself inside. i'm outside for so long, but none of them come out. got partner, forget about friend. see la, this type. haiz.