13th...

1st June...Tuesday...9.52am...........
wa...so fast almost 1/2 year gone already...so fast...see how time flies...actually last night i had written...but cannot be saved...so have to write again today...i really...really...really...hate staying at palazzo...at first i already told them that i want to stay my own...but they don't let...my dad keep on telling to stay at palazzo...i knew this will happened...that is why i don't want to stay there...like dungeon...no freedom...i have feeling that quite accurate at times...staying there very pressure...especially with grandpa around...late come back...complain...go early...complain...what i do always complain...stay in my room do my things also complain...complain why always 'hide' myself inside the room...if i'm outside...i don't know what to do...the channel he watch is not suitable for me...the show i watch not suitable for him...how leh???...that is why i always come to college early...is because i kam buan sleep less also don't want to stay there...but no will understand me de...always when R asked where am i...i always answer that i'm in college...then she will say me crazy...get to sleep don't want to sleep...if she was me...maybe she will understand everything...and also i always cannot sleep when at palazzo...but when i'm at home...i sleep like a pig...at palazzo usually i sleep late and wake up before alarm rings...but when at home...although alarm had rings lots of time...i also cannot wake up de...weird right???...nowadays i don't know what my grandpa is thinking...to me...i felt that he had change a lot since my grandma pass away...totally like changing to another person...when the 2 precious around...others are like invisible...but when both of them is not around...the others like suddenly become visible...crazy...when mummy's grandma (ah chor) pass away...we (D, J, S) cannot go pay respect de...she was still my elderly...n she also very sayang 3 of us...although we did not meet often...once in a blue moon...recently mmmuy's 3rd uncle pass away...they warned us that we cannot go to the funeral...what the hell...why cannot go...crazy man...but i don't care...i still follow mum to the funeral and send uncle to his 'new home'...J ans S did not follow so they stay at grandma taiping house...why they are so selfish???...even my grandpa's brother pass away...the grandchildren are not allow to go de...i felt very weird...why can't we go...also i don't care...i teman mum go...he is still my uncle ma...from july 2009 unil now...already gone a few person...not yet even 1 year...grandma, ah chor (taiping), grandpa taiping, 3rd pek gong (grandpa's brother) and now mum's 3rd uncle...all so fast and near...don't know who is next...(ei...don't simply say...nothing will happen anymore)...not i want to say...but is like the truth la...i'm really getting very tired and pissed off...mum always tell me that don't bother them...imagine that i'm like staying in a 6 star hotel...but sometimes cannot...hard la...because of them...i prefer not to stay there...i rather wake up early and come to college early...better...if not...no freedom at all...always after class...most of the friends will asked whether want to go out eat together...and my answer always is next time la...if i did not reach back there by the time...i'll get killed...i always says that...i also used to the word 'next time'...sometimes i wonder why god want me to born in this family???...i love my mum, jason and mei mei...but hate the family...i prefer to born in moderate family...maybe will be happier...better let this then in this family...rich and selfish and also kiam siap...cheapskate...HATE ALL OF THEM...i really don't know who is my grandpa anymore...i don't know what thing had given to him until he become let this...like a stranger to me...he only listens to his two daughter and the only son words...others he don't bother...like now...he wants to find a women which is in 50 i think to accompany him...no marriage will happened...hard to say...one month about 2-3 thousand something...before that he likes a girl...but guess the age???...is only 29...what the hell...Alex already 21 la...i'm already 19...can become my sister la...most of us disagree but because the only son say yes...he was so happy until he smile for the whole week...see la...when he knew that we disagree...he will show us the face for a week...see la...fare a not???...they think they are smart...they did not think far...now ok...if anything happened in future...he will putar balik to blame us...ah...like he will say why we did not disagree la...the nonsense...end up we kena marah for no reason...why my grandpa so listen to the only son's word...don't know what medicine had given to him...like he had been put in magic...everything we do hear is always wrong...they do is always right...sometimes they do nonsense also can become correct...what we do if right...all the things is always given to him...fare meh???...bad thing we take...good thing he take...but the things is done by someone else...not himself...i hope that 1 day...his precious son and daughter 被人绑架...then 撕票...get KILLED...then see la...wahahahahahahahahahahahaha..................then his car let people use coins and scratch...finally let go everything...free......1 word...爽...wa for about 1 hour...hand pain already...want to rest liao........11.30am...